Truth or Dare
by ladygris
Summary: What would you do if faced with a dare?  Sheppard finds out the hard way!
1. Smurfs

**Author's Note: **So, I was intrigued and amazed by DaniWilder and koinekid's McKeller Flash Fiction challenge. With the greatest respect to them for inspiring more people to write, I'd like to issue another challenge. Also, it's my birthday, and I'm in the mood to share some humor. Read the following drabble, and then answer the challenge below. . . .if you dare! ~lg

oOo

Sheppard stood just outside the mess hall, staring at the long corridor stretched out in front of him. He couldn't believe he'd been roped into this! But Rodney had mentioned Truth or Dare, and Teyla had asked about it. Sheppard hadn't been able to stop the impromptu game from beginning. Their group of four grew as they chose between telling the truth or taking the dare. Rodney's last truth question came from Jennifer Keller. She'd asked, "Who would you rather? Brad Pitt or George Clooney?"

Rodney nearly choked on his water. When Keller turned to Sheppard, he accepted the blind dare. No way he was choosing which male movie star he had to sleep with if forced! Now, he had to skip down the corridor singing the Smurfs theme song.

Looking around, he realized the corridor was relatively empty. It would be the perfect time to get this done. Taking a deep breath, he took a few steps and then started skipping. "Next time you're feeling blue," he sang slightly off-key, "just let a smile begin." He kept skipping and singing, ending the song with a flourish. "La la la-la la la. . . ."

Sheppard spun around, and his triumphant grin faded as he realized what had happened. Lorne stood to one side with his camcorder aimed at the colonel. Sheppard groaned. He'd never live this one down!

oOo

**The Challenge:** In 300 words or less, write your own SGA Truth or Dare scenario. It can be as embarrassing, humorous, or emotional as you'd like. Any and all SGA characters allowed, so long as it centers around a Truth or Dare. By the way, this one came up to 263 words.


	2. Baby Shower

**Disclaimer:** Forgot to put this in the first one. I don't own anything related to SGA! Wish I did, though.

**Author's Note:** So this flash fiction challenge has really hooked me. It's a nice break from my lengthy multi-chapter story. And, with both the McKeller challenge and this one, I have plenty of quick stories to put a smile on my face. So, here's my next Truth or Dare Flash Fiction, coming in at 296 words, excluding the author's note. Enjoy! ~lg

oOo

"What's going on?" Ronon asked as he set his tray on the table and stared across the mess hall.

Sheppard shrugged. "Baby shower."

"Baby what?"

"Baby shower." Sheppard glanced at him. "On Earth, women get together and give the new mother gifts specifically for the baby."

"Oh." Ronon ate a few bites. "Why is Lorne over there?"

Sheppard grinned. Ever since Lorne videotaped him skipping down the corridor singing the Smurfs theme song, he'd looked for a way to get back at the major. He'd had an epiphany while sitting in the Jumper, waiting for _Daedalus_ after Midway's destruction. By daring Lorne to throw a baby shower, he gave the major reason to pause the next time he was tempted to share that video.

Sheppard watched as Lorne returned from the kitchen, carrying a bowl of rice. Lorne set the bowl on a table as the women gathered around a beaming Teyla. With just a few words, the major explained the game and pulled out a blindfold. Teyla decided to give the game a try and, after being blindfolded, dug her hands into the bowl.

Lorne walked over to Sheppard and Ronon as the women laughed. "Sir."

"Major." Sheppard nodded over to the group. "I take it the shower was a hit?"

"Yes, Sir." Lorne shrugged. "But, after planning my sister's first baby shower, this one wasn't so bad. Plus I had a little help."

"A little help?" Sheppard frowned. "The dare said _you_ had to plan it."

"I did plan it, Sir." Lorne looked completely unconcerned. "You never said I had to _execute_ the plan." He leaned back and put his feet on the table, leaving Sheppard to glare as Jennifer took over running the baby shower.

Sheppard sighed. Would he ever get his revenge?


	3. Football

**Author's Note: **Okay, I'm addicted to this flash fiction thing! And I'm also addicted to the Keller/Lorne pairing. So, here's the next flash in the Truth or Dare story, and it does not relate to my other Keller/Lorne story, No Matter What. Coming in at 294 words on my word processor, excluding the author's note, here's the next part of the feud. ~lg

oOo

"Ouch, Doc! Play nice," Lorne growled.

"I _am_ playing nice," Jennifer said from behind him. "I'm not the one who thought playing tackle football against Ronon would be fun."

Sheppard watched the two of them argue. During a particularly spectacular play, Ronon had tackled Lorne and sent him sliding across the pavement on the South Pier. The game had begun innocently, with Ronon asking about American football. Somehow, Lorne wound up with the painful trip to the infirmary.

Fortunately for Sheppard, this little trip gave him so much more leverage against the unflappable major. Who knew that Lorne had a large black tattoo that covered most of his left shoulder? And who knew the major had a thing for Jennifer Keller? Or that Keller had a thing for the major? Sheppard had watched Lorne's grin widen as Jennifer's face turned a pretty shade of pink when she realized she'd need the major shirtless to treat the road rash.

Lorne hissed again as she cleaned the torn skin on his right shoulder. Jennifer gave him an exasperated look. "Buck up, you big baby."

Lorne turned faster than she'd expected. "I'll show you 'big baby!'" he said, reaching for her. Jennifer squealed and jumped out of his reach, which only set off the chase around the infirmary. Lorne growled again, this time something about tickling her, and she laughed while holding up her gloved hands.

Sheppard left the two alone, knowing that they wouldn't be interrupted for a while. He'd see to that. As the door closed behind him, Jennifer let out a loud squeal that was quickly silenced. Sheppard thought about the flirting going on in the infirmary and grinned. He definitely had leverage now. If only he could figure out how to use it!


	4. Pretty Boy

**Author's Note:** The next installment of the Truth or Dare Flashes, coming in at 300 words on my word processor, not including the author's note. Enjoy! ~lg

"Truth or dare, Major?"

"Sir?" Lorne stood in front of Sheppard's desk, frowning at the words. Sheppard had called him in here to continue _this_?

"You heard me." Sheppard pointed at a chair. "Truth or dare?"

Lorne let out a sigh. His shirt tugged at the bandage covering the road rash from Saturday's football game, and he barely contained his grin. Jennifer was so cute when she was afraid of being tickled. Tired enough to not care-much-he dropped into the chair. "Truth."

Sheppard's grin told him he'd made a mistake. "That tattoo. Where'd you get it?"

Lorne narrowed his eyes. "Ah. . .girlfriend from flight school. She was a tattoo artist."

"And you just let her tattoo your body even though you're in the Air Force?"

"It wasn't. . .like that." Lorne couldn't believe he'd been suckered into playing this crazy game. Again. "We were partying, things got out of hand, I had a little too much to drink. You get the idea."

"And you know what it means?"

Lorne blinked. "She said it means 'handsome,'" he muttered.

Sheppard snorted, and he knew he was in trouble. "Major, someone needs to work on their Japanese." Sheppard grinned. "The technical translation is 'pretty boy.'"

Lorne stared at his CO. It couldn't mean that! It had better _not_ mean that! Then, he grinned. While Sheppard wanted to pay him back for videoing the Smurfs incident, he knew he could get under Sheppard's skin faster by ignoring the slight. "Yes, Sir, it might mean that. But I'm fairly sure Jennifer doesn't care either way."

Sheppard choked on his coffee, and Lorne left the office with a satisfied smirk. Somehow, he'd managed to turn an embarrassing truth into an embarrassing moment for his CO. Payback was coming, but he'd enjoy the victory for now.


	5. Kiss The Girl

**Author's Note:** I know it's rare for me to update all three of my stories in one day, but this wouldn't leave me alone! So, coming in at 299 words on my computer, minus the author's note, is the next installment of Truth or Dare. Enjoy! ~lg

oOo

Sheppard walked into the mess hall for karaoke night armed for a fight. He rarely played his guitar, and very few people on Atlantis, outside of his team, knew he even had one. He really had Teyla to thank for this idea. With Torren so young, she'd brushed up on her children's movies. Sheppard had his brilliant idea last night.

The karaoke started predictably, with some people being able to sing and others not. Rodney and Katie did a duet, and Keller blushed all the way through "Wind Beneath My Wings."

When his turn came, he stood, strapped on the guitar, and walked confidently to the performing area. Jennifer and Lorne chose to sit close to the front. Sheppard grinned and started his song.

_There you see her, sitting there across the way.  
__She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her._

He went on to sing the entire song from memory, holding the audience spellbound. As the end drew near, Sheppard strummed the guitar a few more times, choosing to sing the final chorus a cappella.

_Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Don't be scared  
You got the mood prepared  
Go on and kiss the girl  
Sha-la-la-la-la-la  
Don't stop now  
Don't try to hide it how  
You wanna kiss the girl._

As a final nudge, Sheppard leaned over Lorne's shoulder and whispered into the mike, "Kiss the girl!"

Lorne glared at him, eyes sparkling. "You know payback's coming, don't you, Sir?"

Sheppard just grinned, and Lorne let out an amused sigh. Then, he stood, pulled Jennifer to her feet, and kissed her in front of everyone on Atlantis. As the kiss drew on, cheers and whistles filled the room. While still close enough to be in earshot, Sheppard cringed when Jennifer whispered, "Don't worry, Ev. I have big needles."

_Crap!  
_


	6. Needles

**Author's Note: **Coming in at 293 words on my computer, minus the author's note, here's the next flash of the Truth or Dare feud. Enjoy. ~lg

oOo

"Truth or dare, Colonel?" Keller asked in a sing-song voice.

Sheppard turned and blinked. Jennifer stood in front of him, one hand on her hip while the other brandished the largest needle he'd ever seen. The syringe held some sort of clear blue liquid. He looked at her. "What?"

"Truth or dare?" She waved the needle.

"Ah. . . ." _Come on, Shep, think!_ He frowned. If he chose the truth, he'd have to share something incredibly embarrassing or totally inappropriate. And, knowing Jennifer and Lorne were dating, that truth would probably end up all over Atlantis. On the other hand, if he took the dare, he probably got that needle.

Sheppard stared at the needle. What _was_ that stuff in there? He wasn't due for any kind of vaccinations anytime soon. _Truth or dare? _Truth and have Atlantis talking about him for months? Or dare and get that needle? He lifted his chin. He could handle the momentary discomfort of the needle. "Dare."

Jennifer grinned, and Sheppard realized his mistake. Still waving the needle, she stepped close to him and explained the dare in a low voice. As she talked, his eyes widened. He should have chosen truth.

When she finished, he frowned. "You're sure?"

"Yep." She still held that needle.

"How will you know?"

"Oh, I have my ways." She beamed at him. "Just remember. Within the week."

As she turned to walk away, he held up a hand. "Hey, wait. What's in the needle?"

"Oh, this?" She walked to a sink and depressed the plunger on the syringe. "It's water and food coloring. I used it for effect. And it worked."

As Keller sauntered back to her office, Sheppard covered his face and groaned. He really should have chosen truth!


	7. Serenade

**Author's Note:** I know this one isn't as funny as others in the previous chapters, but it's one I really enjoyed. Hope you do, too. Coming in at 296 words, minus the author's note, here's the next flash. ~lg

oOo

Sheppard walked into the control room, guitar slung over one shoulder like a backpack. He'd seen the glances as he walked, heard the whispers. If he didn't go through with this dare, Lorne and Keller would have won. But if he did. . . . The truth would still be on display. Keller had known what she was doing. She made sure he couldn't win.

Sheppard spotted his prey up in Woolsey's office. The unsuspecting woman laughed at something Ronon said during the briefing, and Sheppard briefly wondered why he hadn't been called to the meeting. Then, he remembered. Kanaan had taken the Athosians back to New Athos, and Teyla had stayed behind on Atlantis. Sheppard knew their relationship was strained at best, and this dare could destroy what they had left. Did he really have that right?

Irritated at his morose thoughts and frustrated at Keller, Sheppard pulled the guitar strap from his shoulder and adjusted it. When Teyla left Ronon and Woolsey in the office, he started strumming. Gazing up, he began his song.

_You light up my life_

_You give me hope, to carry on._

_You light up my days_

_And fill my nights with song._

The control room burst into applause, and Teyla smiled, her eyes slightly misty. Sheppard rushed up the stairs to her side. "Sorry about stepping on any toes. I didn't mean to cause problems with Kanaan."

"That was beautiful, John," she said softly. "You won't cause any problems. Kanaan is gone."

"It's true," he admitted in a whisper. Louder, he said, "Sorry. It was a dare. From Keller."

Teyla regarded him with a raised eyebrow. "Then we will have to find some way to repay the debt."

Sheppard grinned. "Now you're talking. What do you got in mind?"


	8. LBD

**Author's Note:** Just because I can't get enough of this pair. . . . It comes to 295 words, minus the author's note. Enjoy, ladies and gents! ~lg

oOo

Sheppard watched as Keller slipped into the gate room and smiled. He and Teyla had finally hatched their dare to repay Keller, and he thought it his best yet. But he couldn't complain. Because of Keller's dare, he and Teyla had shared one of the best weeks of his life. They spent almost every evening together now, laughing and sharing stories while Torren played at their feet. And they always ended the evening with a kiss.

So, when the time came to repay Keller's dare, Teyla and John decided to go with something as embarrassing to the young doctor as the serenade but with an infinitely deeper purpose.

As Keller lingered near the door and in the shadows, the gate activated, and Lorne's team walked through. Sheppard pretended to be busy while Keller sauntered forward in her version of an LBD. Granted, Little Black Dress didn't do this gown justice. The front modestly covered her, but the back cut low enough to showcase her shoulders and back. Chandelier earrings glittered from her ears, and she'd pulled her hair into an elegant bun.

Lorne immediately stopped in his tracks as Keller stepped up to him and pulled him into a kiss. His hands dropped their loose hold on his P90, and the couple stood in front of the gate, oblivious to everything and everyone around them. By the time Keller pulled back, her face was flushed, and Lorne's mind was nowhere near his mission. Keller gave him a coy smile and sauntered back out of the gate room, giving everyone a nice view of her back and hourglass figure.

Sheppard jogged down the stairs. "How'd it go out there, Major?"

Lorne turned, completely nonplussed. "Huh?"

Sheppard snickered. "That must have been some kiss!"

"Yes, Sir!"


	9. Backfired

**Author's Note:** So, when I wrote the "LBD" part of this story, I thought I outdid myself. Then, as I was chatting with DaniWilder, she gave me a wonderful idea. It is a very unique pairing, but I think it makes sense. At least, for this story. So, coming in at 300 words on the nose, minus the author's note, here's the next installment in the Truth or Dare feud. Hope you enjoy! ~lg

oOo

Sheppard sat in the mess hall, staring as deep laughter and double meanings floated his way. He glanced at Teyla, sitting across from him, and saw her smile. Lorne and Keller had outdone themselves on this last dare. When he'd first heard the requirements, Sheppard simply stared. He and Teyla had not made their relationship public, yet. Unlike Lorne and Keller, thanks to the karaoke and Little Black Dress incidents. Sheppard still considered the Little Black Dress Incident to be the best thing he'd ever pulled.

But this? This was almost too hilarious to watch. When Lorne dared him to find Larrin and bring her back to the city for dinner, Sheppard went straight to Teyla. She told him that she understood, and they would simply think up a better dare for Lorne and Keller. The feud rarely affected their work, and Sheppard preferred it to sparring these days. After all, it helped him take those first steps with Teyla.

Keller approached the table, Lorne not far behind her. "Colonel. Teyla. Mind if we join you?"

Teyla smiled. "Please do."

As Keller sat down next to Teyla, Sheppard grinned at Lorne. "Not quite the effect you were wanting, was it, Major?"

Lorne glanced across the mess hall and shook his head. "No, Sir. Not really."

Keller smiled. "Yeah. That one backfired on us."

"_All_ of us," Sheppard clarified.

The four fell silent, willing to enjoy the quiet in favor of the show. When Ronon and Larrin left the mess hall, hand-in-hand, Lorne and Sheppard exchanged high fives. Unfortunately, McKay chose that moment to appear. Seeing him alone, the four at the table grinned at each other. All of them had the same thought.

McKay looked around. "What?"

"Nothing." Sheppard simply smiled. He had a new target for his next dare.


	10. Vala

**Author's Note:** 297 words, minus the author's note. AU for Daniel's Season 5 visit to Atlantis. Enjoy! ~lg

oOo

"Oh, no." Daniel Jackson groaned as he dropped his head into the pillow. Sheppard stood by his hospital bed, watching black pigtails bounce out of the infirmary. Lorne entered, clearly coming to see Jennifer, as Vala waved goodbye.

Lorne frowned at Sheppard. "Sir?"

Daniel answered. "Don't ask."

Lorne scowled. "Does this have anything to do with the, uh. . .?"

"Truth or Dare?" Sheppard nodded. "Yeah."

Daniel shook his head. "You should have known better than to let her know about that game, Colonel. She'll never let up."

Lorne exchanged a glance with Sheppard. "You know, Sir, we could always use an extra hand with our Plan."

"That's what _I_ said," Sheppard replied. "But she bounced off before I could outline the Plan."

"I take it she's after McKay?" Lorne asked.

Sheppard nodded again. "I think so."

Daniel shuddered. "I _hope_ so." When both men turned to him, he sighed. "Come on, guys. You don't want to know what happens if she recruits someone. I'm sure you've got someone here that's going to jump on board with her and drive this entire base to drink."

Sheppard blinked and looked at Lorne, who clearly had the same thought. The men shuddered at the possibilities. The _explosive_ possibilities.

Jennifer chose that moment to join them, and she glanced around. "What did I miss?"

Daniel closed his eyes. "Vala."

"Okay," Jennifer said, not really seeing the point. She shared a smile with Lorne, who naturally drew her closer to him.

Sheppard watched the pair. Right now, he couldn't get past the dread coiling in his stomach. "It's not that Vala's here." He clarified. "It's who she might ask to help her with her Truth or Dare."

"Who?" Jennifer asked.

Lorne and Sheppard stared at each other, speaking in unison, "Cadman!"


End file.
